It’s a tough day for a lot of reasons. If you’re trans/queer/estranged from your biofam for example, this time of year can be especially challenging. I’m all of the above — trans/queer/estranged. I’ve had many years of practice, in terms of doing my own thing, and it can still be tough, tbh. And along the way, there were years when I joined gatherings despite my comfort. Both options can suck, I know.
So, if today you’re attending family gatherings and in so doing having to conceal your truths or weather indignities, I feel you/see you. Or if today you’re NOT attending such gatherings and in that choice, honoring yourself but feeling isolated perhaps from traditions and people you love, I again feel you/see you.
Me, I’m taking a break this year from hosting a Not Thanksgiving the Saturday after. If you’ve not read it before, here’s my essay for BA’s Healthy-ish about the significance of such ‘friendsgiving’ type gatherings for people such as myself. As I describe therein, the first few years I cooked Not Thanksgiving, I did so at my friend Quince and Blair’s house in Wisconsin. I mention them because they happen to have an awesome new photography-focused book out about their dogsledding adventures. You can also listen to Blair on Fresh Air.
Alright. Sending you love, today and everyday.
p.s. I will nonetheless be baking many pies to take to a neighborfriend’s meal tomorrow. Because pie is important. If you need a pie dough tutorial, I often refer folks to Smitten Kitchen’s pie dough 102.
p.p.s. I contributed a short essay to the new Wildsam Hudson and Catskills guide. (The other essay contributor was Ruth Reichl!) I’m proud of the essay I wrote; it’s about sunrises and birds... I don’t celebrate any end-of-year-gift-giving-type holidays but if you do, hey, look, here’s a gift idea for I dunno somebody who likes this area and cute little books…